On the year that was

First, I want to thank everyone again for attending this evening.

I have been of two minds regarding the President’s Report this year, and I want to start by noting that we have a lot to celebrate, just within the context of the regular work that we do.

Our main function is support, and it continues to help hundreds of people throughout the year, through our support meetings, our phone support line, and countless individual conversations that our facilitators and volunteers have with parents and community members who aren’t ready for a meeting, online or in person. When we’re in the thick of things, we focus on the people in front of us. However, as we support and educate one person, they take that with them into their communities and in turn, they support and educate others. There’s no way for us to measure that ripple effect accurately but that doesn’t make it less valuable. Every person in this room has done this in some capacity and I hope you know how integral you are to the Toronto Pflag mission of keeping families together.

People and relationships are the heart of this organization and I want to acknowledge some individuals now. Two board members are stepping down this evening and their contributions should be acknowledged, beginning with Brenda, who unfortunately is not here with us tonight.

Brenda began as a volunteer back in 2018 and she has served on the board for almost five years, including several years as our Volunteer Coordinator. She was instrumental in recruiting me to the board so I can personally attest to her empathy and persuasiveness. I know that many others on this call can say the same. In addition, Brenda’s done some great community outreach, attending school fairs and Girl Guide Jamborees, modelling what genuine connection looks like. She’s also an excellent critical and creative thinker, and we’ll definitely miss her insights in our board discussions. We wish her nothing but the best and know that she won’t be far away.

Jaden is the other board member completing her term this evening. Jaden began as a support volunteer, focusing on the East Asian community. There is no one-size-fits-all way to provide support. In many cultures, meeting with a dozen or so strangers to talk about private family matters just isn’t done. But that doesn’t mean those communities don’t need support – of course they do. Single-handedly, Jaden created our East Asian Support function, drawing on her own experience and knowledge. She has mentored volunteers who provide one-on-one support to East Asian parents who want to support their queer kids, but need help finding resources and learning how to talk about issues and concepts in a way that respects and accommodates their culture. It’s a delicate balance and I’m happy to say that although she’s leaving the board, Jaden will stay on with Toronto Pflag to continue this important work.

I’d also like to acknowledge one of our recently retired volunteers. Marla has been involved with Toronto Pflag for over 15 years, as both a volunteer and a board member. Marla was the bedrock of our general support meetings and phone support for many years, and this past August she retired from that role. I am personally grateful for her generosity, wisdom, and kindness, which I have witnessed in her support meeting facilitation. She has helped more families than we can count, and I hope that she’ll take us up on an open invitation to drop in whenever she misses us.

I also want to express my gratitude to the rest of our board of directors. Most of you know that this is a working board, where all board members have responsibilities outside of governance. 

For example, you’ve heard from David tonight, who has been acting in capacity as secretary/treasurer this year, in addition to guiding us through the process of updating our bylaws and bringing us into compliance with new ONCA regulations as you just heard. Giselle is our vice president. She also co-chairs the support committee, and has been a sounding board and advisor more times than I can count. Drew is our events committee chair and best known for masterfully coordinating our Pride participation. Hundreds of people visited us through the weekend and Drew made that possible. Monika is a committed parent representative who runs our Pride Family Booth, participates in community outreach events, and provides individual support where needed. This is a wonderful team and I’m also proud to call them my friends.

When I started, I said I was of two minds about this report, and now I want to address something that’s been weighing on me for a long time. I am immeasurably proud to be part of the Toronto Pflag family and I’m honoured to participate in the work we do. However, I’m acutely aware of how much more difficult this is becoming because of the times we live in. Like many parents, I worry about my child’s safety as they go about living their life in a world driven by a constant, inescapable stream of disinformation and hate-mongering.

For the past couple of decades, I’ve been watching intolerance increase. Like many people, I tried to explain it away, thinking that it was just a blip, hoping that it was just a few bad actors, and believing that the pendulum would surely swing back soon.

The unfortunate reality is that well funded, well organized, politically savvy and politically connected forces were coordinating and working to create a society that benefits a very narrowly defined population. Unfortunately, the 2SLGBTQIA+ community doesn’t fit into their definition and has become a scapegoat. 

In the face of irrefutable scientific knowledge and basic human decency, the voices of fear mongers and political opportunists have ramped up rage-baiting, hateful rhetoric. We are seeing politicians throw the trans community under the bus, pushing a hateful agenda for the sole purpose of gaining or keeping power.

This lack of integrity and the willingness to knowingly harm vulnerable communities is not new, but it’s disappointing and disheartening. Some days it can be hard to muster the energy to do the work, but then I think about our support meetings. I think about the hugs. I think about the tears from parents who are struggling to support their kids in the face of the cruelty they know is in the world. I think about newcomers who join our group desperate to find both acceptance and safety. I think about community members telling parents in the group, “I wish my parents had been like you.”

I think about Pride and all the people who come by our booth to thank us for our work. Every year there are folks who tell us it’s their first Pride and I’m always honoured that they feel safe enough to share that with us.

As many people have heard me say, my child coming out to me was a gift on a couple of levels. The first gift was one I didn’t recognize at the time, which was the trust they had to share this important aspect of who they are. At the time, I didn’t appreciate the honour I now know that to be. The second gift was entry into this community that has also embraced me, providing not only support and kindness, but deep friendships and chosen family. This hasn’t just made my life richer, it’s also made me a better person.

This is what gives me the motivation to continue this work. So often I feel inadequate to the task, but then I invariably get encouragement from another amazing person in this community, and it renews my commitment. I appreciate every one of you, and I promise to be there for you too.

I want to finish with something from the functional side of the organization. I’m excited for tonight’s unveiling of Toronto Pflag’s new branding and website. Earlier this year we engaged Goods & Services Branding to help us refresh our website, and they generously included a logo redesign. We’re thrilled with the results and I’m happy to have them here with us this evening to unveil the new site and talk about the inspiration for the new logo, which is the next item on our agenda.

So with that, I submit my 2025 President’s Report. Thank you for your time and for your support.

~ Lisa